So here I was, innocently believing that nothing stranger had happened in Hawaii than my being recognized in the Honolulu Airport. . .

Then I saw this comment left by someone calling himself “hawaii guy” with a link to this photo.

*Cue me soiling myself in shock*

Seeing that photo literally left Judy and I speechless. . . I mean, what kind of world are we living in where some pencil-necked schmuck with absolutely zero claim to fame is somehow recognized by a complete stranger thousands of miles away from home, for the mere reason that he spends too much time sitting behind a computer? It’s madness.

The photo itself reminded me of that feature in Us Magazine that shows photographs of various celebrities going about their daily business along with silly captions pointing out how, despite all of their fame and riches, deep down, movie stars really are “just like us” (e.g., “They take out the trash!”, “They get speeding tickets!”, “They throw extravagant drug-fueled orgies at million-dollar mansions with women more beautiful than you could even imagine!”, and so on). Yet somehow, I just can’t see that voyeuristic fascination extending to the world of blogging.

Click to see larger size

Obviously, there will never come a time when bloggers will hold any near a prominent position in the eyes of the world. Despite however much some of the people out there pounding on their keyboards may wish it so, the reality is that the general public wants absolutely nothing to do with us (heck, even I don’t want anything to do with us most of the time). That said, it is rather amusing when the little internet world spills over into real life.

Seeing as it’s already been over a month and a half since Judy and I returned from Hawaii (and in light of the outright demands kind requests I’ve received of late), I figure that it’s about time I actually mentioned something about the trip here on this site. The truth is that I’m still exceptionally busy these days with work, looking for a job, filling out immigration paperwork and so on, so I haven’t had the time to post anything other than mindless fluff in a desperate bid to keep people coming back to this site in order to provide some sort of pathetic validation to my otherwise fragile ego.

Okay, frivolous run-on sentence out of the way, let’s carry on.

Our trip to Hawaii began with a six-hour overnight flight plagued not only by an exceptionally dire selection on in-flight entertainment, but also EXTREME TURBULENCE FOR NEARLY THE ENTIRE DURATION OF THE FLIGHT. The meal service was stopped, flight attendants were running down the aisles, and the plane shuddered and swayed much like I do on the toilet after an evening overindulging in the dangerous combination of alcohol and sashimi (huh?).

After managing to survive our version of Nightmare at 20,000 Feet (minus the hairy creature on the wing, which surely would have been flung off during this flight), we finally made it to solid ground at the Honolulu airport. Whilst retrieving our baggage in a sleep deprivation-induced haze, I was startled by the sudden sound of a voice behind me that said, “I like your blog.” I turned to identify the source of this strange statement and came face to face with a pretty woman with short hair who appeared to be facing my direction. Now, despite my natural eloquence (ha) and charm (double ha), I only managed to confusedly stammer out a feeble, “Who me?” before the woman disappeared into the crowd.* Needless to say, I was quite surprised to discover that an actual human being reads this website, let alone one of the female variety. Who knew?

“Stewardess, it’s that guy from conbinibento.com!”

Anyhow, despite our (literally) shaky start, the remainder of the trip turned out to be a complete blast. We visited the islands of Kauai, Oahu and Maui (in that order), each of which provided its own unique sights and experiences. Furthermore, the gods were certainly smiling down upon us, as we fortunate to enjoy nothing but sunshine and warm weather for the entire duration of our time on the islands. It was almost enough for me to put aside my inherent aversion to clichés and be tempted to use the word “paradise” to describe them (although I have thus far refrained from doing so).

Well, I think I’m going to stick in a “To be continued” right here with a promise for an update along with some photos in the very near future (cue someone asking where the rest of the Korea photos are…). Stay tuned!

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*The woman in question has since identified herself and is well on her way to recovering from the close-range exposure to the overwhelming stench of my body odor.

The weather was pretty nice this weekend (considering it’s the middle of February) and so Saturday afternoon Judy and I decided to slide out from under the kotatsu and actually venture outside to take a walk around the neighborhood. Our neighborhood is pretty unexciting for the most part, but every once in a while we encounter something interesting, either as a source of wonder, a chuckle or what have you. Yesterday, it was this:

I love it when Japanese governmental organizations go through the trouble of creating English signs, pamphlets or other materials, conceivably for the benefit of foreign residents living here, without bothering to even double-check whether they make any sense. In this case “No Unauthorized Dumping” becomes “Don’t Waste Garbage.” Classic. They even put up a second sign with a phone number for inquiries, which I can only imagine people call up in order to ask about the meaning of the sign.

I gave notice at work last week. . . the beginning of the end, as it were. I had spoken with my boss about my plans last July so everyone more or less knew, but this has now made it official. Since my boss has been out of the country for the past six months or so, I had to give the news directly to the president of the company; fortunately, he was really nice about it and he actually tried to dissuade me from leaving (although I can’t imagine why). He also said that I can come back to work here if I end up being unable to find a new job, which, although very generous, also makes me wonder whether he doubts that I’ll actually be able to find work anywhere else.

So now I’ve got about six more weeks of employment before the paychecks stop coming. It’s quite scary if I think about it, but I’m (self-deludedly) optimistic that I’ll eventually be able to find something. I don’t know why, though… I can’t imagine that there are many companies out there actively seeking a barely-literate halfwit whose only “skills” (and I use that term loosely) are limited to semi-neat handwriting and the ability to say “You can’t prove I’m the father so pay for the abortion yourself!” in Japanese.

Only time will tell, I suppose.

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Speaking of work, a big reorganization took effect on the 1st of last month and my department was eliminated. Previously, I had been working in the Global Operations Group, but I’ve since been transferred into the newly created Global Operations Division within the Global Marketing Headquarters [did somebody say “global“??].

The practice at my company is to give every department a three-letter abbreviation to be used in internal email/memos, mail groups and the like. So, where I had previously worked in the GOG, I now work in — you guessed it — the GOD. Yep, so following the usual fashion within my company, I now end all emails like this:

Best regards,

GOD Jeff

In an amusing addition, this sign was also recently put up in my office:

The title reads: “GOD Mission Statement”

I’ve been so busy lately, it’s ridiculous. I hate it when actual things that need to get done get in the way of my inherent lazyfatbastardness. I haven’t forgotten about this site, but it’s been hard to find the time to write up anything worth posting. I’m still planning to put up photos from Hawaii, too, but in the meantime, here’s a photo of idon’tknowwhatthehell for no reason what so ever: