South Korean actor Bae Yong Joon arrived in Tokyo yesterday, setting hearts aflutter and loins aflame amongst Japan’s middle-aged female population. Over six hundred people — mainly women well beyond child-rearing age — were present at Narita airport to catch a glimpse of the star, known affectionately as “Yon-sama” among Japanese fans, who is in town to promote his latest film April Snow.

Upon entering the airport arrival area, Bae, dressed in a spiffy and not-at-all-homosexual pink shirt, was confronted with the sight of hundreds of wrinkled, saggy-bodied women, most old enough to be his mother, screaming and jumping up and down like giddy teenagers.

Afterwards, airport employees no doubt spent several hours mopping up the vast lagoon of groin gravy left behind by the graying, sex-starved crowd.

Click the image below to see a news clip of Yon-sama’s absolutely thrilling arrival at Narita [WMV, 3.76MB]. It’s just like Beatlemania, except there’s only one guy with a moppy haircut and the women are all twice as old!

Judy and I are still finishing up the wedding invitations, so unfortunately I don’t have time at the moment to write a proper post. The goal is to get the invitations out by Wednesday the 31st, and it looks like we’re hopefully going to finish in time.

Anyhow, here’s a photo of the creepy building that houses the Akasaka Jewelry Design School, which Judy and I stumbled across while walking aimlessly from Shibuya to Akasaka one day last spring. At first I thought it was some kind of cult headquarters, but in fact, the camels have nothing to do with the Korean church next door. Just a completely random choice of building design.

From the Fabricated News Dept.:

Japanese Gov’t to Abandon ‘Cool Biz’ in Favor of Sweaters, Long Underwear

TOKYO - Following a rash of reports of complaints and lawsuits stemming from the failed “Cool Biz” campaign, which aimed to reduce energy consumption by encouraging business people to forego suit jackets and neckties, the Environment Ministry announced on Monday that it was summarily abandoning the summertime initiative, and would launch a new campaign for the autumn and winter months, dubbed “Warm Biz,” on October 1.

Environment Minister Yuriko Koike announces the termination of the “Cool Biz” campaign.

“It is regrettable that the ‘Cool Biz’ campaign, which held considerable promise for the reduction of energy consumption and greenhouse gas emissions, must be terminated at this time due to the failure by certain individuals to exercise proper moral judgment and self-control,” stated Environment Minister Yuriko Koike. “As pleased as I am that central government offices were able to successfully reduce electricity usage by 0.5% during the months of June and July, the increasing uninhibited exposure of bare skin — especially by the middle-aged male population — led to the creation of uncomfortable working environments nationwide.”

Both the public and private sectors saw a sharp increase in the number of indecency and sexual harassment complaints following the introduction of the “Cool Biz” campaign in June, leading many firms to abruptly discontinue the initiative and reinstate previous strict company guidelines for employee dress. Toshihiro Tanaka, president of a Tokyo-based architectural firm, said that although the campaign initially got off to a good start, “As the weeks went by, employees became more and more relaxed in their choice of clothing,” resulting in several instances of disciplinary action against those who took their casual attire too far. “There’s a difference between not wearing a necktie and not wearing pants.”

Even some women in Japan have gone as far as to work topless for the sake of keeping cool.

Hitomi Sato, a 28-year-old office assistant told of similar circumstances at the Yokohama Internet services company where she works. “At first, the men in my office started wearing short-sleeved dress shirts, then it was T-shirts, and eventually they just started going without shirts altogether,” she said with frustration. “After a while, they began to pressure us women to start doing the same; I didn’t think it was appropriate, but several of my female coworkers had no problem with going topless in the office.”

Under the Environment Ministry’s new “Warm Biz” campaign to be introduced in October, office workers will be encouraged to wear layers of clothing including long underwear, sweaters and headwear in order to reduce the use of heaters, especially electric and kerosene space heaters, which are used widely throughout Japan due to a lack of proper insulation and adequate heating systems in most of the country’s commercial and residential buildings. The Japanese government is confident that the new campaign will be far less problematic than its predecessor and is optimistic that it will lead to a significant reduction in energy consumption.

Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi models an example of “Warm Biz” attire to show his support for the new campaign.

Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi, who was once a strong and vocal proponent of “Cool Biz,” told reports at an outdoor press conference Tuesday that he fully supports the new campaign and will faithfully follow the new dress code recommendations. “You can expect to see me dressed like this every day in a few months,” he joked, while visibly perspiring in head-to-toe heavy winter attire, including a down jacket, gloves and snow boots. “Yes, as soon as the first of October arrives, all of my Cabinet ministers and I will bundle up in thick wool knits and flannel-lined trousers, regardless of the actual temperature outside, in order to demonstrate Japan’s strong commitment to the Kyoto Protocol.”

Following the press conference, Koizumi was rushed to the University of Tokyo Hospital where he received treatment for severe dehydration and heat stroke. He is expected to be discharged and return to official duties next week.

My apologies, I’ve been a bit busy lately addressing wedding invitations. I’ve got a few things in the works, though, so hopefully I can get some stuff up on the site shortly.

In the meantime, in honor of Typhoon Mawar, which is expected to hit Japan some time within the next 48 hours or so, here is a photo of a garbage can filled with umbrellas that have accumulated after being left behind at the restaurant on the ground floor of my company’s office building.

Who knew people were so forgetful?

This past week, Nintendo announced the date of the upcoming release of their new portable gaming device, the GameBoy Micro. The release, slated for September 13th here in Japan [the 19th in the US and Nov. 4th in Europe], coincides with the 20th anniversary of the release of the original Super Mario Bros. for the Famicom in 1985. The Micro will feature a full-color backlit display with adjustable brightness level, a variety of exchangeable faceplaces, and will be housed in a compact metallic body smaller than the controller for the original Famicom/NES (!).

Please allow me to take this opportunity to make the following public announcement:

You see, not only do I share the limited mental capacity and obscene body odor with mankind’s closest relative, the chimpanzee, but I am also just as easily attracted to small shiny objects. Indeed, I am exactly the kind of hopeless sucker than Nintendo is marketing the Micro to: a guy who is simpleminded and superficial enough to want to buy an electronic device just because it’s sleek, oh-so sexy and can fit in his pocket. Never mind the fact that has exactly the same processor as the GameBoy Advance SP that came before it, or that the unprotected, likely scratch-susceptible 2-inch screen will surely make me go blind; my first thoughts upon seeing the new device were purely animalistic: “MUST BUY! MUST OWN! MUST RUB AGAINST GENITALS!”

Seeing as not only am I a parsimonious miser, but I also still haven’t come to a conclusion with regard to the PSP vs. DS debate from last year, I imagine that I will eventually be able to suppress my base impulses and overcome my present pathetic desire to purchase the Micro. Furthermore, I also have a perfectly good GBA SP that I received as a birthday present two years ago from my darling fiancée, who would surely be hurt were I to brazenly cast aside her kind and generous gift for something that is just barely a step up from its predecessor in terms of technology. Therefore, I firmly believe that it is highly unlikely that you will find me in roughly three weeks’ time standing in line with the rest of the “image-conscious” fools to be the first to purchase one of these things. That said, however, just looking at it makes my bathing suit area tingle, so I don’t think I’m ready to put money on that juuust yet.

Well, Judy and I are back in Tokyo after our short excursion to Korea. Overall, it was a very nice trip — we saw some sights, enjoyed some of the local cuisine, learned a bit of the history and culture — and the very minor challenges that we did encounter were so insignificant as to be a source of amusement more than anything else.

Rather than give a play-by-play overview of our trip (since I sincerely doubt that would be of interest to anyone), I thought I’d try to keep my usual verbosity to a minimum and just mention a few points about our time there.

The Package Tour
After looking around at different airfare options to Seoul, we eventually decided to go with a package tour offered by a travel agency that included the airfare plus accommodation due to the low price. The only catch was that while we could select our days of travel, we had no choice with regard to the flight times, nor could we choose the hotel. Thus, our fate rested in the hands of the knavish rapscallions at the travel agency.

A week after making our reservations, we were informed of our flight schedules and the name of our hotel. On the appointed day, we made our way to the airport and departed on an evening flight, arriving in Seoul shortly after 10:30PM, where we and the other members of the tour were met by a member of the local branch of the travel agency.

Now might be a good time to point out that the primary reasons for which most Japanese people visit Korea are as follows:

1. To buy foreign brand-name luxury items that are only slightly less expensive than those sold in Japan;
2. To eat Korean food that is exceptionally more spicy than that found in Japan; and
3. To indulge in wholly unnatural and unhealthy obsessions derived from watching way too many insipid, melodramatic Korean television dramas.

Thus, the 45-minute high-speed bus ride from the airport to our hotel was spent being verbally assaulted by the travel agency rep, who gave a non-stop recitation about where to buy this-and-that and where to eat this-and-that and so on, all the while I was secretly hoping that our vehicle would hit a pothole and send the rep and her stupid microphone through the front windshield.

As we hadn’t signed up for any of the tour-related activities (being taken to buy overpriced brand-name goods, being taken to eat overpriced Korean food, etc.), our relations with the travel agency and fellow passengers ended upon our arrival at our hotel. That is, however, until we were picked up on our day of departure to be transported to the airport. On the way there, the bus made a detour and all passengers were taken into a shopping complex staffed with middle-aged Japanese-speaking Korean women who proceeded to feed us sample after sample of different kinds of kimchi, after which they looked us in the eye and motioned to their wares, essentially saying, “Okay then, which will you be buying?” Now, seeing as most Japanese people have an innate aversion turning down others outright and the resulting loss of face, the only recourse our fellow passengers had to appease the vendors and extricate themselves from the predicament was naturally to purchase something. Strangely enough, while I considered the entire ordeal to be akin to a subtly-performed shakedown, most of our travel companions seemed to revel in the opportunity to have one last chance to shop before reaching the airport (where they would no doubt go on to shop at the numerous duty-free shops as well as on the plane back to Japan itself).

The bottom line: I am never taking a Japanese package tour like that ever again.

The Hotel
As I mentioned previously, we were given no choice in the selection of our hotel and thus all we could do was cross our fingers and hope for the best. As a result, we found ourselves staying at a place called the Poong Jun Hotel, which is depicted in the image at right. Unfortunately, the person responsible for the creation of that image took some rather blatant artistic liberties, as the hotel looking absolutely nothing like that (hint: replacing those pretty trees with shitty, run-down concrete buildings might provide a more accurate representation).

To our surprise, the hotel room itself was actually quite large (at least compared to what we’re used to on our ghetto budget), but it was also quite old as well. The walls and carpet were stained, the bathroom was moldy, the bedding showed considerable wear and the decrepit hair dryer was just laughable. However, what is most worthy of mention about the Poong Jun Hotel is that, despite having striven for the past 35 years to be “the leader in the frontline of Korea’s tourism industry,” they apparently missed the memo about English having become one of the most widely-used languages in international tourism, and thus none, yes none, of their staff could actually speak it. Unfortunately, we didn’t come to realize this until about halfway through our stay, when it became quite obvious that no one was actually understanding anything we were saying. For example, when I kindly inquired whether it would be possible to borrow a functional portable hair dryer to use during our stay in lieu of the antique monstrosity on the bathroom wall, the woman at the front desk responded by telling Judy and I that there were taxis queuing outside. After about five seconds of the two of us staring at each other in confounded silence, it finally dawned on us that the clerk had apparently misunderstood “dryer” to be “driver.” The worst instance, however, was when regular visitor to this site and all-around good guy, Marco, telephoned the hotel in attempt to reach me in order to make plans to meet up for drinks, but was hung up on not once, but twice by the front desk staff because they couldn’t understand him. Finally, they acquiesced to take a message, however they wrote down the wrong phone number, and as a result, my tentative plans to hang out with Marco (or “Mark,” according to the message from the front desk) were not realized.

- - - - - - -

Well, I’ve clearly failed in my attempt to avoid my typical circumlocution, so I think it’ll be best for me to split this entry into to parts, as my eyelids are growing increasingly heavy as I write this. I’ll try to get part two of this uninteresting adventure up within the next couple of days, but in the meantime, here are a few preliminary photos from our trip:

I admit that it’s a bit dull, but this is the view from the roof of my apartment building. In the background you can kind of see part of the Sony global headquarters, a surprisingly unexciting campus composed of several drab, uninteresting buildings. I had expected something a bit more high-tech. . . it could definitely use some robots or something.

A couple enjoying the view of the Mermaid Lagoon at DisneySea.

I wonder what they’re thinking about.

With the overabundance of taxis in Tokyo, it seems that the drivers often have a lot of time to kill while waiting for a fare.

Indeed.

An interesting thing to note is that, unlike the US where the vast majority of taxi drivers are “foreigners” (cue stereotypical image of turban-clad East Indian gentlemen sputtering unintelligible English), nearly all taxi drivers in Japan are old Japanese men.

This is an interesting-looking flower that I saw at Tokyo DisneySea.

Anyone know what kind of flower it is?

Salarymen aren’t the only members of the Japanese workforce who exist in a continual state of exhaustion. Those in the working class need to take some time to recuperate every once in a while, too.

A view of the concrete-lined and heavily polluted Meguro River at sunset.

Well, here it is. . . another random photo post.

I had been hoping to put up some actual new content on this site over the weekend, but unfortunately I ran out of time. As a result, I guess it’ll just have to wait until after I get back from Korea. In the meantime, I present you with the first in a series of assorted photographs, all of more or less equally mediocre quality. As with in the past, looking ahead in the galleries is cheating and shall be punished my means of a horrible voodoo curse, the manifestation of which is far too unpleasant to be mentioned here.

Now, as for that photo:

Yep, she’s the same girl as in this shot. The one above was taken nearly four years ago. It’s one of my favorites.

I had incredibly grandiose plans to put up quite a few posts this week, but unfortunately my situation at work has been completely insane recently with big things going down concurrently in both the States and in South Asia. Thankfully, tomorrow is the last work day before the summer holiday, which means that I’ll finally be able catch up on some much-needed R&R.

Seeing as it’s quite late and I can barely make sense of what’s appearing on the screen in front of me as I type this, I’m just going to post one link and one photo and then call it a night.

The link is to a list of common giongo, which are Japanese onomatopoeic words. Giongo are used far more often than their English counterparts; in fact, most people tend take advantage of any and every opportunity to use them instead of actual words, which is mighty frustrating to the beginning Japanese learner, who has no idea what those seemingly silly sounds mean [yikes, where’d that alliteration come from?]. Anyway, here is the list, courtesy of the good doctor known as Dave, conqueror of Tokyo and shooer of cats.

Now, on to the photo. The other day I realized that I had completely forgotten about the Tokyo Disney Resort gallery that I set up last month, so I’m going to try to prepare some additional typically boring photos to stick in there in the near future. For today, though, I offer you a photo of one of the brazing furnaces at my company’s plant in Ibaraki. Were you to stick your hand in there, a-chi-chi-chi!! would probably be the giongo you would use as the flesh was seared from your bones in a matter of seconds.

And with that, I sleep.

Any ladies out there looking for a job in Tokyo?

I stumbled upon this little doozy today on the Jobs in Japan website:

We are looking for some female staff who does not mind being lightly sexually harassed during working hours. Our team is composed of male and female in equal proportion. We are located in central Tokyo. Duties: net surfing. Part-time ok.

Gee, I can only imagine the sheer number of women who must be lining up around the block for the chance to fill that position.

In a way, though, I suppose that company deserves some credit at least for laying its cards on the table and being honest about what it’s looking for. I think I’d like to see more of that:

Leading market research firm seeks professional, highly motivated executive assistant. Candidates must have a minimum of five (5) years relevant experience, perky breasts and a willingness to provide sexual services to members of the executive team. Competitive salary and generous benefits package provided.

Just kidding (sort of).

Anyway, for any women out there who might be interested in getting paid to surf the net, and who don’t mind being “lightly sexually harassed” while doing so, this just may be the job for you!