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7/30/2005

Goth girls & genitals

Filed under: — jeff @ 11:38 pm

Today while browsing through Tower Records in Shibuya, I happened to pick up a copy of Metropolis magazine. Metropolis is a local English-language weekly featuring passable content such as film and restaurant reviews, as well as a large classifieds section containing a mass of personal ads from sleazy foreign men seeking skanky Japanese women for “casual encounters,” lonely 30-something Japanese women searching for foreign partners in a last-ditch effort to avoid dying alone, and African men looking to meet Japanese women with big butts (I’m as perplexed as you are about that one).

I'd hit it (with a shovel)The main feature of this week’s issue is a series of profiles of several young non-Japanese women who participate gothic lolita scene in Tokyo. The women’s bland responses to the markedly unprobing interview questions, which touched on topics such as their preferred reading material (Harry Potter is a favorite), the cost of their silly costumes striking ensembles (all over US$200) and their impressions of Tokyo, all substantiated the obvious truth that members of the goth crowd, despite their claims of being “unique” and their “like, so cooler than you” attitude, are just as vapid and image-conscious as everyone else (if not considerably more so).

However, what really caught my eye was a quote attributed to the 21-year-old Taiwanese- American lass pictured above (nicknamed “Tiny”), who had this to say about her opinion of Tokyo:

“I like the Tokyo night life, food and fashion but I hate the muggy pollution and I’ve seen too many male genitals in public.”

Hmm, it certainly makes one wonder how that young lady spends her free time. . . .

7/27/2005

Ew

Filed under: — jeff @ 11:48 pm

At lunchtime today, I headed out to get something to eat and happened to come across a homeless man peeing on the street near my office. Of course, that in itself is hardly worth mentioning; one can find homeless men peeing on streets in every city of the world. What struck me about the situation this afternoon was the realization that it was the very first time that I had seen a public urinator in Japan who was actually homeless. Up until today, in the nearly weekly occurrence of seeing old men relieving themselves on sidewalks and in doorways in plain view of everyone passing by, all of the perpetrators have been relatively normal-looking guys!

The practice of public urination is called tachishoben in Japanese (literally: “standing urination”) and seems to be the unofficial pastime among the nation’s sizable population of sleazy old men. While the activity is frowned-upon by the general populace, not once in any instance of witnessing men openly spatter the contents of their bladders on the street have I ever seen someone admonish the offenders, let alone offer a disapproving “tsk” in the direction of the individual with his penis in his hand, unabashedly directing the stream of his urine towards a nearby surface.

Now, while it is obviously an objectionable practice, I don’t wish to condemn tachishoben — (what man among us is innocent of ever covertly dampening a darkened alley during an evening spent partaking in spirituous refreshment?) — I am merely undertaking a therapeutic exercise in writing about my unsettling experience in order to cleanse my psyche of any lingering detrimental effects of the memory of being presented with the sight of crusty homeless man penis while on my way to satiate my hunger with a mid-day collation.

Of course, the only thing worse than observing the flagrant depravity of a public urinator is to bear witness to the wanton turpitude of his reprobate cohort, the public masturbator. While I personally have yet to encounter this detestable creature, Judy, alas, has not been so fortunate. An occasion about two years ago saw her fleeing in a panic after happening upon a gentlemen “hard at work,” so to speak, on the side of the road at six o’clock in the morning on a fine winter’s day. Oddly enough, he was standing astride a bicycle at the time. . . .

Pit stop

7/26/2005

Is everyone sick of Smoking Manners yet?

Filed under: — jeff @ 11:25 pm

It’s pretty amazing how much traffic the Smoking Manners gallery continues to draw. Last Saturday showed 15,000 (!) unique visitors, which is a bit more than usual to this humble site.

The land where everyone has good manners

Since many of the people who visit conbinibento.com don’t speaka ‘da Japanese, I thought I’d mention that the Japan Tobacco website has a Smoking Manners screensaver available for download. It’s a continuous montage of many of the ads and will no doubt bring you loads of success with the opposite sex. Enjoy!

Windows

Mac (OS 6.8+)

Mac (OS X)

7/24/2005

Ugh

Filed under: — jeff @ 11:57 pm

My apologies once again for the lack of posts over the past few days. I was stricken with a mysterious illness that left me with a 40.5°C/105°F fever and vomiting like it was going out of fashion (even at work, which is always pleasant). I’ve recovered for the most part by now, but my reflection in the mirror and my disappointed fiancée both tell me that I lost a bit of weight as a result of not being able to eat anything while I was under the weather — weight that I unfortunately cannot spare to lose. Alas, I fear that my long-aspired dream of escaping from skinnywhiteboyhood shall never be realized.

Anyhow, a bit of personal news: Judy and I will be taking a short trip to Seoul, South Korea in two weeks’ time to do a bit a sightseeing and visit a friend of mine from university. As has become tradition, expect a week of nothing but crappy photos during our absence. In the meantime, we’re still trying to figure out where to go and what to do, so if anyone (*cough* Marco *cough*) has any suggestions, we’d be very happy to hear them.

Let’s see. . . in keeping with the trivial nature of this post, in other insignificant news: Judy and I recently bought a rice cooker.

Yep, it's a rice cooker

Yay.

7/20/2005

Sushi explained

Filed under: — jeff @ 11:43 pm

Sushi, with its aesthetic fusion of exotic tradition and simple sophistication, may be considered to be the quintessence of Japanese cuisine.

These days, it seems as though nearly everyone has at least heard of sushi and many have even enjoyed first-hand its culinary delights. However, how much do people outside of Japan really know about this paragon of haute Japanese fare? Click the image below for a rare opportunity to learn everything you could ever possibly hope to know about the time-honored practice of visiting a sushi restaurant in Japan, courtesy of a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek instructional video entitled The Japanese Tradition: Sushi.

yummy
(Japanese with English subtitles; WMV, 30.4MB)
A torrent of this video is also available here.

Naruhodo, samurai no kuni desu ne.

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UPDATE: For anyone who might be interested, The Japanese Tradition: Dogeza can be found here.

7/17/2005

Creative concealment of underlying problems

Filed under: — jeff @ 1:31 am

Judy’s been talking about possibly getting a new cell phone recently, so this afternoon while out running some errands we stopped in a Vodafone shop to check out their selection.

Vodafone acquired the Japanese mobile company J-Phone a few years ago, and has since done little more than repeatedly demonstrate their utter lack of understanding of the unique Japanese market. While rivals DoCoMo and au have been constantly putting out a diverse range of new models with various designs, sizes and features to keep up with the fickle whims the rapidly changing market, Vodafone seems to be content releasing only a couple of new models each season and focusing their main energies on promoting their 3G technology in Japan, regardless of the fact that the infrastructure is spotty at best, and market demand nearly nonexistent. Although consumers are hungry for increasingly smaller and lighter handsets with sleek designs, Vodafone models are only getting clunkier, heavier and, quiet frankly, uglier, which makes it no surprise that their sales are steadily declining and their customer base rapidly shrinking.

Under these circumstances, Judy and I were certainly amused today to see Vodafone’s latest attempt to try to attract customers: the kigurumi-keitai, featuring a selection of twelve creatively-designed “costumes” for the new V501T model made by Toshiba, which was released this month. Here’s the line-up:

Which outfit should your phone wear today?

While some of the covers are admittedly pretty neat (especially the bull one), the V501T handset itself is exceptionally large (even larger than my TV remote!) and boasts no notable advancements in terms of features or technology.

While this latest gimmick may attract a few customers drawn to the kawaii factor of some of the “costumes,” I have sincere doubts whether it will do much to pull Vodafone out of its slump. The reason why most foreign companies fail miserably when trying to enter the lucrative Japanese market is their complete failure to understand the driving forces behind it. While American consumers may be interested in “super-sizing” and getting more bang for their buck, Japanese consumers place far greater importance on design and functionality and have few reservations about dropping loads of cash on something that suits their fancy. The companies that take the time to try to grasp the idiosyncrasies of the Japanese market in order to appeal to it stand a fair chance of success, however those that think that they can simply barge in and set up shop based on their standing overseas will face enormous challenges, as Vodafone is no doubt learning.

Well, it’s getting late, so before this senseless blather starts sounding any more like a retarded thesis, I think it’s time that I shut up and head to bed. . . .

7/13/2005

Continuing the celebration, kiddie style

Filed under: — jeff @ 11:54 pm

This past Saturday, Judy and I headed to Tokyo DisneySea for the second round of her birthday festivities. Although I hadn’t been to the Disney Resort since our previous trip last year, we’ve probably gone at least half a dozen times during our nearly four years here in Japan (a fact that I am somewhat loath to admit). As hard as it may seem to believe, the Tokyo Disney Resort, especially the relatively new DisneySea park, is actually quite a popular dating destination for young Tokyoites, so we felt absolutely no qualms about spending the day mingling amongst grade school children and departing with wads of cash in exchange for overpriced baubles and scarcely palatable food items. Nonetheless, we actually had a pretty good time.

Judy and I in front of the Mysterious Island Judy in front of the Indiana Jones Temple Posing with a weird street vendor guy and his animatronic camel

7/11/2005

The contretemps in the confectionary

Filed under: — jeff @ 11:53 pm

Well, I’ve returned from my brief leave of absence from the internet. The reason behind my furlough lies in the fact that last Thursday was Judy’s birthday, and thus it was necessary that I dedicate my time to the preparation and implementation of a memorable birthday experience.

And, as would be expected, I failed miserably.

Okay, it wasn’t a total snafu; however, there was one particular mishap that threatened to derail the otherwise enjoyable evening. As we returned home to our neighborhood following a lovely dinner downtown, I led Judy into the confectionery across the street from the station from which I had days earlier ordered a decorated cake for the day’s festivities. I presented the sales clerk with my order receipt, and Judy and I then spent the next several minutes perusing the shop’s enticing delights while we waited. Eventually, the clerk returned with a slightly abashed countenance and timidly informed me that they had apparently forgotten to prepare the cake that I had ordered, thereupon shattering all of my lofty preconceptions about the reported unparalleled wonder that is the Japanese service industry.

I turned to Judy with apprehension to ascertain her reaction, however, as a testament to her fine character and graciously tolerant nature that reinforce the fact that she is clearly far too good a person to be engaged to a good-for-nothing galoot such as myself, she responded with neither disappointment nor displeasure, but rather with unfettered amusement. The shop clerk was unremittingly apologetic and, partially restoring my faith in the reputation of Japanese customer service, offered us a choice of any of the shop’s fine desserts — gratis.

Thus, Judy and I returned home and concluded our celebration of her birth in a somewhat smaller, yet in no way diminished, fashion.

the birthday girl

Note to self: Avoid posting when in a literary frame of mind and severely sleep deprived to boot.

7/8/2005

Random Photo Post #10

Filed under: — jeff @ 11:00 pm

Nothing much to say here. . . .

Click to see full size

7/7/2005

Random Photo Post #9

Filed under: — jeff @ 11:00 pm

The life of a Japanese salaryman is rough. You’re expected to dedicate your very existence to your company and toil away all of your waking hours for a mere pittance, with little appreciation or satisfaction gained in return. You’re also endlessly exhausted, and thus never hesitate to try to grab a few winks at any opportunity.

Click to see full size

7/6/2005

Random Photo Post #8

Filed under: — jeff @ 11:00 pm

Nope, I’m not on vacation. I’m actually going to be a bit busy in the next few days, so I thought I’d put up a couple of random photos in hopes that the fickle blog-reading public won’t go elsewhere for their insipid rambling fix.

Ah, who am I kidding? No one visits this site anyway.

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Recently, a building down the street from my office was torn down. The steel frame of the new structure that will replace it is already being (noisily) erected, but during the brief interlude when the lot was bare, I snapped this photo of the back of the building immediately behind it. I’m quite curious what’s on the other side of those doors.

Click to see full size

7/4/2005

GAIJIN

Filed under: — jeff @ 11:57 pm

foreign barbariansA little over a year ago after I first set this site up, I wrote a post about a comment made on a television program (about Harry Potter of all things) on which one of the show’s guests used the word gaijin, a rather controversial Japanese word for “foreigner”. Not feeling like opening up that particular can of worms at the time, I wrote the following:

Although I won’t go into depth about my thoughts on the word gaijin at this time, I’ll just say that it’s a discriminatory term and there’s really no need for it to be used when their are several other inoffensive alternatives. While some may argue that gaijin is simply an abbreviation of gaikokujin (foreign national), the true meaning is quite simply “outsider” and carries derogatory connotations. Despite this, many Japanese people continue to use the word freely despite knowing that many non-Japanese people find it offensive.

I received an email recently from a Japanese person asking me to elaborate on my opinion of the word. After procrastinating for a while, I finally stayed up late one night and tried to write out my thoughts on the matter. Well, today I figured I’d go ahead and put that email out there for public consumption, essentially just for the heck of it, since I can’t imagine that anyone would especially care to hear about what some suburbanite punk on a lark has to say about a particular word in a language that he can barely speak.

Anyhow, the email (slightly edited) is below. I apologize in advance for the length; regular readers should know by now how long-winded I can be at times.

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My basic view about the terms gaijin and even gaikokujin is that they are both highly overused. Not only are they used in instances when people’s names and nationalities are already known, but also when nationality has no relevance to the situation at hand. For example, I have heard Japanese people talk about their “gaijin friend” or “gaijin neighbor,” when there are other much more appropriate (not to mention more specific) descriptors that can be used, such as “my friend, Paul,” “my neighbor from Canada,” etc. Also, I have had experiences in shops when I am referred to as “gaijin-san” by the staff, rather than “okyaku-sama,” as all of the other [Japanese] customers are called. The word “gaijin” singles people out for not being part of the “group” (i.e., Japanese), and in most instances, there’s no need to do so. A friend is a friend and a customer is a customer, regardless of their nationality or appearance.

Another issue I have with the word gaijin is that it is used to indiscriminately clump together groups of people who otherwise have no relation whatsoever, other than the fact that they happen not to have been born in Japan to Japanese parents. As a result, people with different ethnic backgrounds who don’t share a common culture or even speak the same language are often considered one in the same by some Japanese people.

Even worse, many Japanese people often tend to assume that everyone they consider to be “gaijin” all share the same characteristics, behavioral tendencies, likes and dislikes, etc. For example, I would imagine that every foreigner in Japan has at time or another heard statements such as, “Gaijin eat bread, not rice,” and “Gaijin are very loud,” as well as been on the receiving end of questions such as, “Can gaijin eat sushi?” and “What do gaijin think of Japan?” Similar statements and questions are often said/asked about “gaikoku” (foreign countries), as if all countries outside of Japan are identical [I like to refer to it as the The Magical Kingdom of Gaikoku]: “Gaikoku is very dangerous,” “Gaikoku don’t have four seasons like Japan does,” “Do you have cars in gaikoku?,” etc. (Yes, all of those are actual statements/questions that I have heard spoken by supposedly educated Japanese people here in Japan).

In my opinion, what makes words like “foreign” problematic is that they emphasize non-membership. For example, if I mention that a friend of mine is Brazilian, it expresses that she belongs to the Brazilian group; however, if I only say that she is “foreign,” it expresses that she doesn’t belong to any group, which may give the impression that she is somehow less significant than a member of a group.

Many people argue that gaijin is merely an abbreviation of gaikokujin, the official word for foreign national. However, if one examines the history of the term, one would learn that long before the arrival of visitors from other countries to Japanese shores, gaijin was used to refer to other Japanese people from different regions or villages. In this regard, the meaning of the word is a literal reading of the kanji characters — “outside person” — and has inherent exclusionary and somewhat disrespectful connotations.

Also, as I mentioned previously, it is not a necessary word — there are countless other more specific and more appropriate words that can be used in its place according to the context, such as, “John,” “the British guy,” “the guy in the gray sweater,” “the friend I made when I studied abroad in university,” etc. Although there are a few words to express the concept of gaijin/gaikokujin in English — foreigner, alien, etc. — in my experience, they are rarely used outside of situations relating to official immigration matters. In fact, outside of such circumstances, I hardly ever used these words before coming to Japan.

I think that the most compelling argument against the use of the word gaijin is that regardless of whether some Japanese or non-Japanese people disagree, many people do in fact consider the word to be offensive. Because of this alone, it seems only proper to try to avoid using it.

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Well, that’s my imbecilic rant on the word gaijin. As you can see, it was neither well thought-out nor particularly coherent.

Just for the sake of clarification: I’m not some sort of neo-colonialist rabid anti-Japanese crackpot. I love living here and hold in high regard all of the people that I’ve been fortunate to get to know here. As a non-Japanese person living in Japan, gaijin is a word that I hear with relative frequency, and thus the issue surrounding the use of the word is something to which I have given a considerable amount of thought (well, I meant to, anyhow).

By the way, I doubt I’ll be sinking to such depths again to actually write another pseudo-serious post any time in the near future. I’ll try to put up some new high-quality low-brow content in the coming days. In the meantime, here are a few hardly relevant links:

* Gaijin glasses
* Gaijin newscaster disguise
* Some might argue that we bring it upon ourselves

7/1/2005

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. . .

Filed under: — jeff @ 10:58 pm

How many Japanese people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

 

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