I think it goes without saying that Japan is a nation obsessed with breasts. From titty mags displayed at children’s eye level in convenience stores to women nonchalantly sizing each other up on TV, breasts can be found everywhere (even on actual women!). Forget about the rising sun, Japan is the land of perky, bouncy, delectable boobies.

Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. Despite the fascination with all things mammary in this country, Japanese women are unfortunately known for having rather less-than- ample bust sizes. In this environment, as any economist will tell you, the shortage in supply of big knockers combined with the insatiable demand for them only increases the value of this precious, precious commodity. As a result, even if a woman has the talent and the personality of a pile of rocks, if she happens to be blessed with a bountiful bosom, she has the potential to become a famous celebrity simply due to the size of her “assets”. Conversely, the abundant supply of tiny ta-ta’s and the accompanying low demand leave many women with smaller chest sizes feeling inadequate.

Well, if there’s anything that unites women worldwide above and beyond having vaginas and going through a menstrual cycle and and all that, it’s undoubtedly an unfounded insecurity about their bodies. Japan is, of course, no exception, however rather than implants or other surgical methods of augmentation, Japanese women tend to rely on more “natural” methods in their attempts to enhance their busts, the most common of which are usually excessive padding and push-up bras.

However, as it is human nature to never be fully satisfied with anything, Japanese women continue to search for other ways in which to not simply make their breasts look bigger, but actually grow bigger. Naturally, enterprising companies are more than happy to capitalize on this desperate desire by offering a wide range of “enhancement” products with promises of bigger, fuller breasts in minimal time.

Just last week, various Western media outlets reported on one such product, which is advertised as being able to help enhance the size, shape and tone of women’s breasts. What is it? Why, it’s chewing gum! That’s right, B2UP, the makers of Bust-Up Gum, claim their product not only will provide a bigger bust, but also improved circulation, reduced stress levels and anti-aging effects. The product has grown so popular with significant interest from outside of Japan that B2UP has recently announced plans on its website to set up online shopping (in both Japanese and English) to try to meet the demand. Of course, larger, firmer breasts don’t come cheap. A single bottle containing 50 pieces runs about ¥5800 (US$55).

As odd as it may seem, Bust-Up Gum is actually only one example of many products on the large and ever-increasing “bust up” market. Swindlers Health product companies are offering everything from breast-enhancing capsules and rub-on gels to bras that supposedly utilize atmospheric infrared radiation and ultrasonic waves to increase the size of the wearer’s tits. Do any of these products work? I don’t know, and I seriously doubt it. However, if anyone has ever tried them, I call on you to kindly submit before and after photos for the purpose of, um, further research into the matter.

Together we can help make a difference in the fight against flat-chestedness.