It’s funny how whenever you think things are really bad, they almost inevitably get worse.

My situation at work has reached the point where I am spending nearly all of my waking hours sitting my desk. I can’t even remember the last day that I didn’t work over 12 hours. I’m perpetually exhausted, I’ve been losing weight and my girlfriend is seriously starting to hate my guts because I’m never home. Last night I even dreamed about work! Ain’t the life of a salaryman grand?

When I first set up this blog, I never planned to write anything about my job unless it was about something interesting or funny that happened, like the time at a drinking party when one of the managers in my department got utterly shitfaced and donned a wig and fake breasts and spent the majority of the evening sitting in the corner caressing said appendages. Or the time when I was out drinking with that same manager, and he said the following to me (in English): “My hobby is pubic hair.”

Man, I miss working with that guy.

But I digress. The fact is that no one really cares about the crap that other people go through at work, and since I have the writing ability equivalent to that of a autistic toddler post-shock therapy, there is no way that I could make my current situation sound even remotely humorous. Therefore, I believe that a little copy/paste action is called-for.

The following was written by Stereolabrat, who so eloquently expressed what many of us feel but are unable to effectively put into words:

My company likes to piss in my mouth. It’s quite refreshing, once you get used to it, I mean who doesn’t like to drink a tall glass of piss, right? Every morning, I go to work with a parched throat, looking forward to the urine that will be waiting for me at my desk, right next to the coffee my boss ever so gently shat in.

(Read the entire thing here.)

I hereby nominate her for the title of Funniest Biatch on the Internet.

Anyway, if your spirits need uplifting, why not check out this site, which demonstrates why you should probably avoid gettin’ busy in the back seat. (NOT work safe!)

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By the way, if you’re wondering what the title of this post is all about, click here.