Coming from an English-speaking country, something that I had never heard of before I moved to Japan was the TOEIC exam — the Test of English for International Communication. If you don’t know what the TOEIC exam is, here’s a blurb from the official website:

The Test of English for International Communication (TOEIC) measures the everyday English skills of people working in an international environment. With over three million test-takers per year, the TOEIC Test is the world’s leading test of English language proficiency in a workplace setting.

TOEIC is a major deal in Japan. Despite the fact that it only evaluates listening and reading abilities (there are no speaking or reading components), the test-taking culture here is such that nearly every businessperson who is involved in international business in any way is likely to have taken the test numerous times, and has his or her job prospects, salary and advancement opportunities based heavily on his or her score.

My own company holds TOEIC exams twice yearly and all employees are — to put it nicely — “encouraged” to participate. You see, the company has a reward/penalty system in which an employee’s performance is compared to his previous scores: if he scores more than 5% higher, he gets a bonus in his next paycheck; if he does about the same, he gets nothing; and if he gets more than 5% lower, he gets a reduction from his paycheck!

Sounds a bit harsh, don’t it? Worse yet, all employee results are posted company-wide so everyone knows how everyone else did!

Up until this point, my only involvement with the TOEIC exam was limited to a two-week intensive prep course I taught at my company back in the fall of 2001. However, this year my new boss thought it would be “funny” if I were to try it, and so he signed me up. . . .

Thus, from 9:30 to noon this morning, I was in the conference room upstairs taking the first exam I’ve sat since university. And it was an English exam — yikes, talk about pressure! I don’t think I’ll be able to show my face if I don’t get the highest score in the company. Sure, I’m a native speaker — but I’m also a dumbass! The score results probably won’t come back for a couple of months, but I can only imagine the ridicule I’ll face if I don’t get a perfect score.

Well, at least it wasn’t a Japanese proficiency exam — I wouldn’t even stand a chance!