I took a peek at my logs last night and noticed something disturbing interesting. Among the many recent search queries that have brought visitors to this site, several stand out for obvious reason, including the following:

• japanese babes
• chicken fight pool photos
• meeting kogal in tokyo
• japanese upskirts
• mazakon
• hideki matsui porno
• rorita
• upskirts of olsen twins
• water slide oops nipple
• guy with elephantine schlong

(Okay, I made that last one up)

Now, the list above either indicates that a) I am a pervert for having mentioned the above words in some combination or another, or b) that the internet is awash in licentious perverts who actively search out salacious material using the above words in specific combination.

Or perhaps, as you’re probably all thinking, it could be c) all of the above.

Well, after Tuesday’s über-serious post, I thought I would post something nice & tasteless in order to bring this site back down to the gutter where it most likely belongs. Furthermore, if this list above is any indication, it would apparently be to most readers’ liking.

Anyhow, we all have heard the hackneyed expression “sex sells.” Unfortunately, in the U.S. at least, there is an overabundance of domineering conservative “family value” groups who jump at any opportunity to launch an attack at corporations, advertising agencies, television stations, production companies, etc. who exhibit any kind of content that someone somewhere out in the world might possibly deem offensive.

Thankfully, Japan is not like that (not yet, anyhow). Although in recent years, there has been some “cleaning up” of magazines, late-night television programming and the like, this country remains as one of the few remaining bastions of politically incorrect cheap titillation.

A recent example is the new commercial for Kirea Water, which features model/actress Miyaji Mao. In the ad, she is shown rolling around in bed while “full nude” (as the Japanese say), tracing her fingers along various curves of her body, revealing a continuous line of the word tsumaranai under the caress of her fingertips. Upon reaching her navel, her fingers stop at the words “tsumaranai mizu deta“.

What the heck does that mean? Well, I — as a not-even-close-to-fluent speaker of the Japanese language (and a general simpleton to boot) — took tsumaranai to mean “boring,” as I commonly hear it used. In that case, the final line would mean (vaguely) “boring water is here.” Yeah, that didn’t make any sense to me either. A little research revealed that the ad’s usage of tsumaranai was in fact the negative form of the verb tsumaru, which means “to clog” (which would explain why it was written in katakana as opposed to hiragana). Thus, the meaning is actually roughly something like “water that does not clog you is here.”

To put it simply, this water helps you poo.

Anyway, the ad is certainly worth a look if you’re a lecherous perv (or simply don’t have anything better to do). Seeing as my girlfriend would probably murder me if I were to do so, it would probably be best if I didn’t comment on the attractiveness of the girl in the ad. . . but off the record, I’d hit that shit ’til I died of dehydration!

If you want to take a look at the commercial, go here and click on either of the top two buttons to watch the streaming video (the one of the left is 1.6MB and the right is 430KB).